5 lb gain, pictures and the funk I am in

I feel like saying a string of curse words...no, really I do.
I went home last weekend for what ended up being almost a week. We had car issues and I had to do three trips back and forth to Alabama in three days. Very exhausting.

Before my trip home to TN, I was doing so very well with my lifestyle change. When I got home..that lasted maybe a day. I stopped exercising and ate whatever I could shove in my mouth....the end result being a 5.4 lb. gain. That wouldn't be so bad except I saw some pics of myself that were taken on Thursday of this week. Now, even with my 5 lb gain, I am still down 24 lbs. You know what sucks? In those pictures, I don't look much different than I did at 262. This makes me sad and angry. I am sad because I know how hard I have worked to get the weight off and even after losing a significant amount, I am still HUGE....and angry because I was not born a thin person. There are some people who were just born thin. They have small bones and small features. They have never really had a weight problem  except for maybe 10 or 15 lbs they would like to lose. I have been a big girl ALL of my life. I was not really a fattie when I was in Elementary school, but I was thicker and bigger boned than all of the other girls. This makes me sad. I am sad because I have to work that much harder than everyone else. I have a LONG way to go with my weight and I am not sure that I am going to get there...I do know that I don't want to give up.

I have not exercised since I have been back either. I had the opportunity, but I did not go. I have a mental block going on. I have GOT to talk myself into doing again all the things I was doing before we went to TN. I don't want to gain all my weight back. I have worked too hard for the loss I have had..

I am having a hard time getting my head back in the game. Negative thoughts have invaded my mind and I feel like I am trying to wake myself from a nightmare that won't allow me to open my eyes. Today is a new day. I have not messed up anything yet as far as my eating goes...I still have time to exercise...and I pray that this is the day that it all begins again!

Almost 30

Well...almost three months into my journey and I am almost 30 lbs. down. 26.8 to be exact. I am still finding that I love to exercise and it is my path to sanity.

Finally, it all clicked. I have been able to release some hurt and anger I've held on to for years and as God took me through that process, the weight has been coming off steadily. It's funny how we carry our baggage on our bodies.

Well, I really have to go...I know, I know...I have let this blog fall by the wayside...and for that I am sorry...I will try to get back to it.