5 lb gain, pictures and the funk I am in

I feel like saying a string of curse words...no, really I do.
I went home last weekend for what ended up being almost a week. We had car issues and I had to do three trips back and forth to Alabama in three days. Very exhausting.

Before my trip home to TN, I was doing so very well with my lifestyle change. When I got home..that lasted maybe a day. I stopped exercising and ate whatever I could shove in my mouth....the end result being a 5.4 lb. gain. That wouldn't be so bad except I saw some pics of myself that were taken on Thursday of this week. Now, even with my 5 lb gain, I am still down 24 lbs. You know what sucks? In those pictures, I don't look much different than I did at 262. This makes me sad and angry. I am sad because I know how hard I have worked to get the weight off and even after losing a significant amount, I am still HUGE....and angry because I was not born a thin person. There are some people who were just born thin. They have small bones and small features. They have never really had a weight problem  except for maybe 10 or 15 lbs they would like to lose. I have been a big girl ALL of my life. I was not really a fattie when I was in Elementary school, but I was thicker and bigger boned than all of the other girls. This makes me sad. I am sad because I have to work that much harder than everyone else. I have a LONG way to go with my weight and I am not sure that I am going to get there...I do know that I don't want to give up.

I have not exercised since I have been back either. I had the opportunity, but I did not go. I have a mental block going on. I have GOT to talk myself into doing again all the things I was doing before we went to TN. I don't want to gain all my weight back. I have worked too hard for the loss I have had..

I am having a hard time getting my head back in the game. Negative thoughts have invaded my mind and I feel like I am trying to wake myself from a nightmare that won't allow me to open my eyes. Today is a new day. I have not messed up anything yet as far as my eating goes...I still have time to exercise...and I pray that this is the day that it all begins again!