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Friday, August 6, 2010

Rollercoaster emotions and my weight

Well, I think the honeymoon phase is over. Maybe not completely, but I am not as enthusiastic as I was in the beginning about my new lifestyle. That is not to say that I have any intention of abandoning my new way of life, but I just feel like now is when the real commitment comes in.

Wednesday's weigh in messed with my head and it messed with my mood a bit. I have not deviated from my calorie goals since Wednesday, but it I am feeling kinda blah. If I am honest, I think it's my hormones that have me feeling so....irritated.

Each month for a couple of weeks I fall into a deep pit. When I wake up in the morning, I am mad at the world before I even set foot outside my bed. I begin a little pity party that lasts all day or even for several days. I get mad at Terrance, the kids, my neighbors, my friends, my family...a passing stranger...seems like everyone is on my "hit list".

The reality is I am the problem. I am the one with run away emotions during the time of the month when my hormones are doing a number on my psyche. I am praying for help this month.

Last night during counseling, my therapist told me of a vitamin pack being sold at GNC that helps women deal with PMS. He said he had a client who was homicidal/suicidal every month for one week. She began taking this regimen of  vitamins and after two months, she noticed a difference. I think I am going to have to try this myself.

My body is tired also. It's been a long two weeks since my daycare has been open again and I am quickly remembering how horrible it really is. It's not the kids per se...it's always the drama with parents. I am ending this part of my life again in September. I have been offered two jobs one in the morning and one in the evening. Each part time, but each very flexible and do-able for my life. I think these offers are blessings straight from God.

Yesterday's eating was great. Exercise was non-existant because of the kid's open house and counseling at the end of the day. This morning, one of my three started school. The other two go on the 23rd.

I took advantage of the oldest being home and headed to the gym this morning. Felt good to sweat, but I find that unless it is a Saturday morning, I am much more comfortable going to the gym in the evening. Don't know why that is...but I am.

Well, I guess I should get off here and do something.

Until tomorrow....

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