This morning, I was in the shower praying. I have to go take a shower to pray because that is where I can be alone with God and really talk to Him. In my prayer time I discovered something. A long while ago I asked God to help me lose this weight. What He did was prepare me. He started changing my mind and my heart. He would give me gentle reminders of my goals and He would show me what my body was made for. I believe with all my heart that it is because of His prompting, I finally made up my mind to get healthy and lose weight.
Today was a great day. I was going to rest from exercise, but did not. I could not believe the amount of energy I had when I woke up. I went to the gym for an hour. I spent 15 minutes warming up on the treadmill, 30 minutes on the elliptical, and 15 minutes cooling down. Then we went swimming. Truthfully, I did not swim long. I was tired. My kids enjoyed the pool and had fun until it began to thunder. Tomorrow (Sunday) is my rest day. I have committed to exercising 5-6 days a week NO EXCUSES..and on Sunday I will rest.
I learned something about myself today. WhenI am tired, I am in a food danger zone. I want to eat. I was not hungry...but the tiredness made me snack a little more. I know I really have to work on that one. I managed to stay within my calorie goals, but were it not for my exercise today, I would have gone over my budget. I also had a moment this evening when I just wanted to eat something because I was upset. Again, thank goodness for exercise!
I don't consider my reaching for something out of emotional issues or tiredness a fail today...I learned something about myself. I am also trying desperately to get out of a "diet" mentality. Reality is, I have to change my life for the rest of my life. There is NO going back. I know I will slip..because "normal" eaters slip..but I cannot allow my slips to become a slide. I am learning to love myself more than that. I am learning to cherish my life. I am learning that although I cannot control other people or things, , I CAN and WILL control how I treat my body. The only person I have control over is myself. That is a powerful realization. I thank God that He has revealed that to me and I am glad I am at a place to receive that knowlege.
I expect throughout my journey, there will be many more opportunties to choose to look beyond the immediate feeling/situation and make the choice that will place me one step closer to my goals. Until then I will treat myself with love and respect....after all, I AM my biggest cheerleader.
Until tomorrow...
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