Last night, while showering, I began to think about my weight loss efforts in the past and my lifestyle change now. Sometimes I have thoughts that nag me. These thoughts ask "what if you can't do this?" and "what if you get off track again and this is just one more failed attempt?". When I have these thoughts, I get scared.
I get scared that I will go back to the way I've always lived my life. I am scared, if only for a minute, that this time will be just like every other time I have tried to lose weight. When I have these thoughts, panic grips my heart and I feel powerless.
Truth is, I am powerless. I cannot change my life...I cannot change my habits. God can. He gives me that power. When Jesus died, He gave me the power to overcome my destructive and abusive ways. The enemy (satan) tries to tell me otherwise. Satan tells me I am a failure and I have always been a failure. Satan does not want to see me succeed because then God will get the glory. Satan wants to keep me defeated. BUT..God gave me a way out. Jesus.
There is a reason that the Bible tells me that " I can do all things through Christ who give me strength" (Phil 4:13). I cannot do things on my own..I am weak and powerless, but with the power of God, of the living Jesus Christ, I CAN do ALL things.
So, how do I battle Satan and his attacks on my mind? I know I need to stay in God's word. I need to discipline myself to stay in His word just like I am disciplining my body and my mind to eat within my parameters. God gives me boundaries,not to restrict me, but to give me freedom.
Sometimes it's hard not to get defeated. I have never been a naturally postive person. In fact, I admit to being a pessimist. I don't LIKE that I have been like that...I have also been a chronic complainer. Why should God bless me anymore if all I am going to do is fuss and complain about everything. I made a decision this weekend to stop complaining. So far ,so good. I think.
This morning I ate three pancakes...and drank coffee...I had av V-8 to kickstart the vegetable intake for the day. I need more vegetables and my choices are getting kinda low. I think for lunch some squash will be sauteed. I am trying to keep my lunch pretty low in calories because I have no idea what tonight's dinner will be. This is a dangerous time for me. When I am tired all day, at the end of the day the last thing I want to do is THINK about what I am putting in my body. What I do know is that I don't want to give in to that way of thinking or NOT thinking again. I resolve to make a good choice for dinner tonight. I resolve to have some vegetables and fruit. I resolve to get my 8 glasses of water in for the day...(guess I need to get started on that one). I resolve that even though I am tired, I will not go back to my old ways.
Change comes from the mind...or at least that is what I am discovering. One day, one choice, one meal at a time.
Well, I supposed the rest of my day awaits. Guess I should go find my water bottle and get started.
Until tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment