Week 2 Day 5 and the beginning of day 6

I am still so early in my journey. I still have many things to discover and to work through. I am learning some valuable lessons, albeit lessons I didn't and don't want to accept...but I must. These are only physical lessons, but I have to pay attention and keep on keeping on. I want to learn the important emotional lessons as well.

I did not post yesterday because I was consumed by negative emotions. Emotions...feelings...they are so fickle, they change with the weather it seems and often they leave me in a heap of tears or with anger that is unhealthy...they make me insecure and sad...sometimes they take me on a rollercoaster ride and getting off is a difficult task.

I wonder if these emotions are popping up because I am not turning to food any more? I would say so...

My food choices were pretty good. We even had McDonalds. I really wanted a Angus burger combo, but I got a cheeseburger add tomato and lettuce...satisfied my craving for McDonalds and came in WAY under the calorie budget. I like that I am learning that life has more to offer than food. I like that I am learning how to not deprive myself, but to live within boundaries.

Today was busy. I reopened my daycare and had two kids. One of those children is a 15 year old girl with Cerebral Palsey. She is normally functioning except she is wheelchair bound. Sweet girl. I just know that I have very little upper body strenght...or barely enough to life a 146lb girl without straining. I need to work on my upper body strength as well as my core strength. I am afraid to lift weights just yet. I want to get some pounds off before I start strenght training. I know that may sound conuterintuitive, but I want there to be a little less fat in the way.

After work was done, I had to run to Walmart for a going away gift for one of my daycare kiddos. I have had him for a year and he has become a dear part of my life. I am going to miss him. So is Isaiah. They were the best of friends. That's one of the things that really stinks about the Army. You get attached to people and they leave..or you leave...

Anyway, when Walmart was done, I was  really tired. I still managed to make it to the gym and get in my hour of cardio. I feel better now that its over...I just know that getting out of bed tomorrow will be difficult. Getting back in the early morning routine never is easy.

Well, I better go and shower so I can go to sleep.

Until tomorrow...