Sunday and a fresh start.

Ok, yesterday was a colossal disaster where my eating was concerned...well, that not entirely true. It was fantastic until after dinner. I had 6.5 points left for the day nad planned on having a little treat later that evening. I had to go get Jazmyne from a friends house and that is when the madness began. While I was chatting with Jazmyne's friend's Mom, she offered me a beer...and I accepted it and drank all of it. No biggie, it was only 3 points and I still have 3.5 left....still room for a small treat, right?

We left Alex's house two hours after I got there and I was starving. Not just a little hungry, but starving. So what did I do? I stopped at Sonic and got mozzarella sticks...and ate 4 of them. Ok, well that would have been alright except when I got home I continued eating. I ate a pepperoni and cheese sandwich AND a Hershey's bar. After pigfest 2010, I wasn't hungry any more, but I knew I had slipped momentarily back into my old ways.

I said a prayer before going to sleep and woke up this morning with fresh determination. I was able to keep my eating today within in my points and I am successfully moving on from my Saturday night fiasco. Progress is what I am calling this. Any other time I would have let that slip become a slide into a plate of cheese fries or chocolate or something. I didn't, so that is a great thing.

This weekend also saw some drama from an old acquaintance from high school. It really was stupid and in my opinion, she took things too far. I took something she said on a blog of hers out of context and when she explained that it wasn't what I thought it was, I apologized for my misinterpretation of her words.

I thought she and I were both above letting this silly little misunderstanding cause childish bitterness...but sadly, I was wrong. I find out through her post on Facebook that she went and wrote a nasty little poem on her blog about the whole stupid little incident. So, not wanting to allow myself to be pulled into petty and childish stuff, I deleted her from my FB and cut ties with her in the blogging community.

Life is hard enough and while we are to love one another with the love of God, sometimes we have to love people from a distance...and stay FAR FAR away.

I know in my heart that I apologized for mistaking her words to mean something they didn't..but unfortunately grace and forgiveness was not something she was willing to extend. I just hope that I can walk in both forgiveness and grace toward her. I wish her well and I hope that she finds whatever fulfillment in her life that she is looking for. If  writing a humiliating poem makes her feel powerful, then more power to her. With this being said, I pray that I will cause no further upset to her or to anyone else. I really did not try and offend anyone and while I should have gone to her privately instead of posting a comment on her blog, I really did not think that something so minor would cause such internal turmoil for this person. For that, I am truly sorry.

 I am a flawed person. I am blessed beyond what I deserve, but I am truly flawed. I make mistakes and sometimes I unintentionally hurt people. I also get hurt.

My life is amazing, but I am not going to wear a mask that tells the world that everything is better than it really is.  I am real. I deal with real emotions and I don't pretend  to be something other than what I am. I try to be authentic in all that I do. Even with trying to live authentically, sometimess I fail.

 I also appreciate real people. I am thankful for  people who are not afraid to be vulnerable enough to accept an apology or to offer one. I am thankful for true friendships and even those acquaintainces that I never really get to know. I pray that this weekend's lessons will be learned and somehow, I will be a better person for all of it.

Until tomorrow...